Ever since I’ve been on this journey, I have been compelled to share the true nature of the experience. From the ups, downs, and hardships, to the successes and glory. If you’ve been following me then you know that despite my success, I have a long way to go to reach the goals that I set. Here’s what has happened so far:
Being fat on this planet is fucking hard. You can take that however you wanna take it, but the fact remains the same. People literally hate your existence, so much so that they make life nearly unbearable.
Whether you’re at the grocery store, movies, out to eat or even at the GYM you constantly have eyes on you and people judging each move. All the snide remarks and bullying behavior has scared some fat folks into hiding. I use to be that person. The fears are still hidden inside me, and I am that person sometimes.
Then something changed. After being diagnosed with PCOS, I started to research more about the disease and started to make changes in my life that have helped control my acne and helped me lose weight.
Funny thing is the people started to change too. Folks that I met in the gym started to act differently than they had when I first became a member. The people in Zumba treat me like a folk hero. I was in Walmart the other week and a person that I knew just went on and on about how “good I looked.”
Before you give me the confused monkey gif, and ask me what the hell my problem is, just realize this these are the same people who shunned me, gave me hell, and treated me like a fucking outcast until I was deemed worthy enough. All because I was (fatter) and still fat.
Yes, I am happy about the success and I’m proud and privileged that God has allowed me to go through this however, I can’t help but ask what was so unappealing about me and my personality nearly a 100lbs ago?
When you’re fat you don’t get the benefit of doubt, you get the benefit of criticism.